I am growing up and I always will be
A number proves nothing because no matter what, I'll always grow up
I'm turning 20 soon
I can drive
I can vote
Inside however, I wished I could be a little girl again who wishes for the return of an easy life of primary school or secondary school
I wished I could turn back time and head back to the time when I was 10 years old, who cried when my granny departed
I'm afraid my heart won't change..
I am still the girl who needs a hug and a chance to cry.
Moving forward only adds on another age.

One of the sad things about growing up is watching those around me grow old
Watching parents, grandparents, friends grow old
Like a forgotten photograph suddenly found at the bottom of a dusty, loft-bound box, rememeber what they used to be like, what they were.

I used to cry myself to sleep, knowing that those people I love could never be with me, knowing that I'll still be stuck in that school for a period of time
But now I realise that I had growing up to do.
And yes, I'm looking at things in wider dimensions now..
I can no longer rely on someone too long.

Just by talking to someone who is just a year younger can tell that I've grown up
My perspectives are different from them now.

I used to leave problem as it is
Waiting for it to get better by itself
But now, I look for reasons behind and start "repairing" the problem
I realise that I will not get angry first until I find the explanation is absurd
I guess it's part of growing up..

@ 6:07 PM