Yesterday didn't turn out ok either.
A totally disaster I would say.
Was grouped with Rahzia, Cheng Wei, Ding Long and Amin yesterday for cognitive.
Grouping with Cheng Wei isn't a good thing after all.
When I returned to class after the talk with Elson, I noticed Cheng Wei doing the ppt alone while Amin and Ding Long were playing their games and Rahzia in her own world.
I was rather annoyed.
So I asked Cheng Wei what I can do to help instead of him doing it all alone.
He asked me to find out the thinking process when approaching scientific problems.
Ooook...I did that and took down important stuff from all the five points I've found.
Showed it to him and he said it's good and included my slides to the ppt.
I was shocked when Cheng Wei divided my five points to Amin, Ding Long and Rahzia during presentation!
I was so darn bloody freaking pissed off!
He even asked me to present his slides
as though I know what he wanted to say in his slides.
Well, since he had ruined my slides, I did the same to him too
I was just literally reading off his slides without any explanation
Can tell that he was not really happy about it
After our presentation, he asked why am I so surprise when he asked me to present his slides.
I immediately told him off
He gave me the blurr look.
I showed him the stuff I've done on the piece of paper
He claimed that he doesn't know that i'm doing that part
What stupid excuse is that?!
Like...hello...you're the one who asked me to focus on that part and now you say you are not aware of it?!
What the hell!
My blood was boiling!!

The taiwan trip matter is still not solved last night.
So i asked Jasmine what to do.
She thought of an idea finally and asked me to lie to my mum that the school is wiling to sponsor me the money
She's willing to pay for me and asked me to return her slowly
I was like...come on man...how long must I save to return her back the money?!
I felt so bad...
Hafiz is willing to pay some for me..
At that moment, I really really felt bad.
Why must I end up in this kind of situation.
I'm touched though..Jasmine..a senior of mine..is willing to pay for me..
even shee rui is willing to fork out some..
oh my god..
On the way to the mrt station, I started to fret..
whether to tell my mum or forget about the taiwan trip..
If I were to give up, will my mum appreciate it?
I think not..cos everything I do, she will still thinks that I only care about myself, I never think of putting myself in her shoes.
At that moment, I really wish that my dad will be able to come back
I wished this thing will not happen to me
Everytime I hear some news from my dad, my heart will be aching..
I just hope everything will end
I can't let my mum see the other side of me.
I do care..I didn't show it that's all
Have been holding back my tears for so long..
Till last night, I can't hold it any longer..
I raised my white flag finally and cried in front of Hafiz for the first time
Going crazy soon.

After I got home, I started to fret again
Didn't know what to do..
To tell her or to just forget about it
Just when I've mustered my courage to tell her
She suddenly asked..

MUMMY: Taiwan trip how? still can deduct or not?
ME: Er..ya
MUMMY: Then you go ahead lor. Deduct everything from your edusave, the rest I pay. You go lor.

I went 0.0!!
I don't have to feel bad anymore!
My mood has lighten up!
WOOHOO..!!

@ 2:39 AM