I'm tired.
Basically because...

I must not fall when crisis strikes my family.
I must not fall when my mum is near to depression.
I must not fall when I'm being squeezed in between my mum and my dad.
I must not fall when my mum breaks down.
I must not fall when my family falls apart.

I wonder how long I can hold.
Will I go bonkers??
Can I still hold my tears and not let it roll down my cheeks??

I do have limits you know..I may burst anytime when I'm pushed to the corner and there's no way out.

I may be talking in school.
I may be joking and laughing around in school.
I may be crazy and noisy in school.
But deep inside,
I'm bleeding
I'm crying
I'm screaming
I felt as if there are many needles poking my heart.
Worse still, sometimes I felt as if there are many knives stabbing my heart.

I may go mute one day.
Risking my daily grade by keeping quiet throughout the whole lesson.
Walking like a zombie.
Not talking to anyone.

Will I?
I hope not..

" you are the only one who can change the situation phylis, nobody else except you."
Stop it.
I had enough.
I'm tired.

@ 8:43 AM